Fear

Fear. "An emotional response to a perceived threat", according to wiki.

Fear was something I always imagined little children to have. It is common for children to fear bees, sleeping, monsters, etc, but I never thought fear was apart of adult life. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe fear isn't apart of most adults lives, but it is apart of mine. I would say I am much like a child myself with fears of bees, the dark, allergies and spiders.  I try not to think about these fears or live in them but there are some days I can't get these fears out of my mind. One of the biggest fears I have is being alone. I HATE being alone. I have learned to be alone during the "normal" work hours, 7am-5pm, but I don't like it at all. I have learned to be ok with working alone in a house with 2 little boys, but I don't like it all the time. Another huge fear I have that I am still learning to cope with is fear of tornadoes. I have no idea why I am scared of this. I have never been in a tornado or known anyone who was in a bad one, and yet this is a huge fear of mine. Learning to conquer this fear is huge to me! Living in Michigan there aren't many tornadoes or tornado warnings but there seem to be A LOT of watches. Some of you might be laughing at me but that is ok.

This blog is to share who Jacob and I really are as individuals going into the ministry, and these fears are a huge part of me (although they shouldn't be). Anyways.. I know that these are just watches and I shouldn't be worried but a watch means a warning could come.. and that's what is scary. The anticipating, not knowing, wondering, the lack of control I have over the issue. I don't know if there will be a tornado or when it will occur. I can watch the radar all I want but i still won't know.

Fear of a tornado is a very good analogy to the main fear of my life, the unknown. I hate not knowing and not being able to plan. I have been working on placing everything in God's hands and have done pretty good with the big things (i.e. moving, seminary, marriage). But am continually working on the day to day worries.  I know this will be a continual sturggle and pray that one day I may be able to be rid of certain fears that I have.

Meanwhile, I have been resting and meditating on Psalm 46:1-3

     "God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling"

Rest assured that God is always with us and we have nothing to fear. If you are like me and have many "adult" fears please stay strong and lean heavily on God our father who is always with us and has everything planned. Just like little children rely on their parents for their health, safety, and planning we to are to rely SOLELY on Christ our Heavenly Father. 




.