Peacemaking Women Ch. 4

We have now entered the next section of the book which focuses on conflicts with others. This chapter is one that I could easily write 3 or 4 different posts on, but I won't. I started reading this chapter a while ago and have been thinking a lot about what it says and how to write a post about it. I will start by saying the title of this chapter is "Biblical Peacemaking". This chapter is probably the one that you all have been waiting to hear about when I mentioned the book was about peacemaking. It focuses on how to make peace with others through: 1) Biblical theology of Peacemaking, 2) Confession, 3) Sinning vs Offending and 4) The 4 promises of forgiveness.

There is so much that I could say on these topics, and how this chapter has impacted my life that it is hard to figure out where to start writing. For those of you who know us well, you know that we have undergone many trails and conflicts in the past year. Jacob and I have had conflicts with each other, family, students at seminary, church family and work. I think the best way to share this chapter with all of you is to list some highlights from the book that have stood out to me and made me think and pray harder about our past conflicts and current conflicts.

A) Biblical Theology (what we should be doing during conflict) (Peacemaking Women)
             1. Glorify God- how can I please and honor God in this situation
             2. Get the log out of your own eye- how can i show Jesus' work in me by taking responsibility for my contribution to the conflict?
             3. Gently Restore: How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?
             4. Go and be reconciled: How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?

I think that all four of these guidelines are hard to follow but the hardest for me is getting the log out of my own eye. In recent conflicts I have tried to Glorify God but have not also looked at my responsibility for the conflict and instead have blamed it on others. Gently restoring someone to help show them their part in the conflict is one that I have not tried to do and honestly am scared to do. I think in order to gently restore the other person your relationship must be well enough that you won't cause offense. Go and be reconciled is the goal I have during conflicts and one that usually happens but not necessarily in a God honoring way.

B) Confession (the 7 A's of confession according to Peacemaking Women)
     1. Address everyone involved
     2. Avoid if, but, and maybe
     3. Admit specifically
     4. Acknowledge the hurt
     5. Accept the consequences
     6. Alter your behavior
     7. Ask for forgivness

C)Sinning Vs. Offending
    Sometimes we can have conflict with others that are based on offenses and not on sinning. For example, doing the dishes is not a sin but by doing the dishes you might have unintentionally offended your spouse.

D) Reconciliation
     Reconciliation is in my opinion one of the hardest parts of conflicts. In order to truly be reconciled with someone you have to completely forgive them for what they have done and NOT bring it up in the future. We must forget this pain and hurt they have caused and NEVER bring it up again in the realtionship. This is something that is hard for me to do. It is so easy to remember all the "bad" things people have done to you, even those that you have "forgiven". But we need to remember that Christ forgives ALL OUR SINS and NEVER brings them back into account. So we need to be like Christ and forgive the sins of others and let them lie in the past. To be truly reconciled and move forward in a relationship both side must agree to not bring up past grievances.

These are just some of my thoughts attributed to the main points that are outlined in ch. 4 of Peacemaking Women. I recommend that everyone go out and read this book, as there is SOOOO much more information and helpful advice then I could write in this blog.

I am going to try to continue blogging as I read this book, but I am now 36 weeks in my pregnancy and little Alethea could come at any time. So I apologize in advance is I am not able to continue with this series, or it takes me a long time to post.